Support group helps

My son started taking drugs in his mid-teens and he’s now a 34 year old homeless drug addict who’s currently serving his fourth prison sentence. He has ripped the heart out of our family and we are all still in various states of grief.

As a family, for many years we did everything in our power to help him. He lived at home until he was 28 when we finally asked him to leave due to the chaos and distress he was causing us. Then for the next four years we paid his rent on different places where he was ‘dossing down’ and we provided weekly shopping. I realised that we were just enabling his habit so we had to stop all financial support.

Over time his immediate family have, one by one, excluded him from their lives. I was the last to do the unthinkable two years ago. It was like a knife through my heart and against every instinct I possess as a mum. It almost broke me and I now have to live with the knowledge that one of the people I love most in the world is out there leading the worst kind of life.

I could not have carried out the ‘tough love’ without the support group. They gave me the courage to do one of the hardest things a parent can do: totally withdraw from your child. Over the following months the group encouraged me to keep going and supported me when I doubted myself. Some of them had already taken that step and some were a million miles away from even thinking about it. But every single person listened, counselled and gave me love. They understood my agony.

Two years on I still have bad days; not long ago I had a total meltdown, just thinking about my son. I love him so much but I can’t have any kind of relationship with him until he decides to change his life. I’m always in touch with the probation team and I’m thinking about meeting him there when he’s released. But I’ll talk it through with the group first as they are the best experts in the world. They care about me and they’ll give me the best advice possible.

Mum, Trowbridge